Everyday Advent: His Arrival

Christmas day at my grandparents’ farmhouse was always a sweet combination of love and chaos—anyone with a large family can probably relate. Each of my grandparents’ four kids (my mom included) brought their entire family to the farmhouse with all of their wrapped presents in tow. All thirty or so of us exchanged gifts one by one—we’re talking hours upon hours of opening presents together. But before any gift was ever unwrapped, we always honored the family tradition of sharing the year’s highlights. From the adults to the kids, we all shared what God had done in our lives over the past year—tears and laughs always accompanied the stories. In reflection, those were some of my favorite Christmas memories. But at the time, I vividly recall feeling deeply uncomfortable and hesitant to talk about God and praise Him for what He was doing in my life. If I was to be really honest, I think it was because I had yet to really have a personal encounter with Him.

Authentic worship always comes from a fresh advent of Him.

Over the years that followed, I encountered and fell in love with God, and Christmas began to mean so much more to me than a pile of presents under the family tree. When my grandparents eventually passed away and my aunts and uncles’ families grew far too large to combine Christmases, we began new traditions at my parents’ home in Seattle. But just like Christmases of old, we still share our highlights before the gift exchange. Having now experienced a Holy Spirit advent in my life, I can’t help but boast about the Lord and His good work in my heart when my turn to share comes! I think that’s how it is with the Lord. When revelation of Him is void, our tongue is tied and our worship suffers. But when we experience everyday advents, it leads to a soft heart of praise.

The same is true for Zechariah and Elizabeth. Having spent five months in seclusion with the Lord having her heart deep cleaned and prepared for a fresh advent, one day Elizabeth is greeted by Mary the mother of Jesus (who had just had her own angel advent and supernatural conception). Scriptures say that ‘when Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby ]John] leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit’ (Luke 1:40-41).  Because of the preparation that had already been done in Elizabeth’s heart, she was fully ready for this arrival of the Holy Spirit at her first encounter with Jesus (even in the womb). What a beautiful moment that must have been!

Mary ended up staying with Elizabeth for about three months, and at some point during that time she penned one of the most beautiful praise songs in scripture. Though Mary gets credit for writing the song, Elizabeth was present when it was written. So I like to think of it as a co-write: ‘My soul glorifies the Lord and my Spirit rejoices in God, my Saviour…He has filled the hungry with good things’ (Luke 1:46-55). A Holy Spirit advent always leads to authentic worship!

In the same way, Zechariah’s preparation season of silence made ready his heart for a Holy Spirit advent of His own. While Elizabeth’s heart was prepared and filled in the fifth month of her pregnancy, it took the Lord a little longer to work on the lack of faith in Zechariah’s heart. Soon after their son was born, they had still not officially given him a name. Naming was significant in Jewish tradition, and it was custom to name a child after his father . So all of the friends and family naturally suggested they call him Zechariah. Still silenced by God and unable to speak, they gave Zechariah the last word on the child’s name. The significance of this moment is profound. After more than nine months of silence while God dealt with his lack of faith, Zechariah now had a choice to make—cave to the pressure of logic and his people’s tradition or obey, in faith, the word God clearly gave him, ‘You are to call him John’. The family handed him a writing tablet and on it he wrote his answer; we will name the boy, John.  An absolute act of faith! In that moment of obedience, Scripture says that ‘immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue was loosed, and he began to speak, praising God…Filled with the Holy Spirit, he began to prophesy’ (Luke 1:64-67). God cleared out Zechariah’s lack of faith and prepared him for a fresh advent of His Spirit.

And just like Elizabeth, his natural response was one of authentic worship! He, too, penned a beautiful praise song to God, ‘Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has come to…enable us to serve him without fear in holiness and righteousness before him all our days’ (Luke 1:67-75).  Out of this heart disposition, he then dedicated John to the Lord and anointed his ministry—charging him to ‘prepare the way for Him…to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace’ (Luke 1:76-79).  

Having been intentionally prepared by God, just a few months after this beautiful advent the earth received the most important advent in all of history—in the form of a baby named Jesus.

This advent season, if your worship has grown dull or your heart feels numb, perhaps you are in need of a fresh advent of His presence. And if that is the case, pray for a fresh anticipation for Him—look for God all around you! And do the hard work of preparing room for Him…even if that process is painful. Even if it leads you into the desert. Or into a season of silence. Or seclusion. Trust Him. Allow the hand of God to reach into the dark places of your heart that you’ve fought so hard to keep hidden.

An advent will come on the other side. And a heart of worship will come forth like never before. That is my Christmas prayer for you and for me. 

‘And heaven and nature sing. And heaven and nature sing. And heaven, and heaven and nature sing.'

Everyday Advent: My Preparation

When we arrived for Christmas at my grandparents’ farmhouse each year, it was always clear that they were joyfully anticipating our coming. But they didn’t just anticipate our arrival, they also intentionally prepared for it. The house was cleaned and decorated, the beds were arranged (including the famous ‘feather bed’ that all of us kids fought over), and the cupboards were stocked with holiday sweets.

Anticipation without preparation is hollow.

‘Preparation must precede God’s presence! God’s instruction for preparation is specific: repentance! This involves a complete change of mind, heart, will and behavior toward Him. He is Lord, and your life must be prepared to receive Him as your Lord. Anything less is inadequate.’  (Henry Blackaby Experiencing God)

The process of preparation is hard and often painful; it involves a lot of soul-work, surrendering to the conviction of the Spirit—letting Him clean up and clear out my heart, making room for more of God.

Back to the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth.

I may be giving away the ending, but God had a beautiful advent planned for them—not only would they bear a son, but they would also experience a pouring out and filling of the Holy Spirit. But before this advent could happen in fullness, God had to deep clean and prepare the hidden rooms of their hearts.

This process began immediately after the angel revealed to Zechariah that he and Elizabeth were going to conceive a child who would prepare the way of the Lord. Much was revealed about Zechariah’s heart condition by the way he quickly responded to this promise, but ‘how can I be sure of this? I am on old man and my wife is well along in years’ (Luke 1: 18). Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, and Zechariah’s sharp response fully exposed a heart that lacked faith and trust in God’s providence in his life.

Oh, how my Zechariah heart resonates with this trust-struggle.

The angel responded, ‘And now you will be silent and not be able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at the proper time’ (Luke 1:20). Though seasons of preparation are not always this dramatic, God knew exactly what was required to make His way to the hidden places of Zechariah’s heart to prepare room for His coming advent. What it took was nine months of absolute silence—no opportunity for Zechariah to talk back to God and question His providence. Though little is written in scripture about what exactly God did in Zechariah’s heart in that silent season, I would imagine a great deal of soul-work was accomplished. Sometimes I think I could use a nine-month prescription of silence in my life too.

In the same way, God was also preparing Elizabeth’s heart for her Holy Spirit advent! Luke 1:24 records that when she conceived the child that the angel promised them, she spent five months in seclusion.  Five months! Alone—with a silent husband and a whispering God. Unlike Zechariah, scripture does reveal some of what God was doing in the hidden places of Elizabeth’s heart during her season of preparation. She declares, ‘The Lord has done this for me…In these days [of seclusion] He has shown his favor and taken away my disgrace among the people’ (Luke 1:25). Living most of her life as a barren woman, I can only imagine the pain and the shame that had permeated the deep corners of Elizabeth’s heart. But how gracious of God to allow a season of isolation—a desert experience—knowing exactly what her soul needed.  In her isolation, He was able to reach to the hidden places, to heal her and clear out her shame so that there would be room for His presence to soon come in. What a mercy of God.

‘Let every heart prepare Him room’

It is not human nature to welcome the deep-cleaning hand of God. But in order for us to be fully prepared for a fresh advent of His presence, it is necessary. Had Zechariah and Elizabeth not submitted to their God-ordained preparation seasons, the depth of the advent that was about to arrive would be missed.

This has been a hard truth for me lately. I often and earnestly ask the Lord to reveal Himself to me in deeper ways, but as soon as that revelation involves any kind of deep cleaning in my heart, I am reluctant. ‘You can go anywhere in my heart, God, just not there…those spaces are best left untouched. Unprepared.’ But He is a jealous God, and He wants all of me! All of my Zechariah lack of faith. All of my Elizabeth shame.  And though we don’t know what is to come, He does—so who is better to prepare us for the mystery of what’s ahead than Him? 

Everyday Advent: My Anticipation

Every Christmas our family reads aloud from the Bible. the story of Jesus’ birth. So as I was seeking fresh revelation this Advent season, this story seemed like the obvious place to begin. But as I dove into the scriptures, I realized that only two of the four gospels actually account the Christmas story. How could such an important, history-altering event be excluded from half of the gospels? And what is even more perplexing…all four gospel books, within the first three chapters, do account for the advent of John the Baptist. I’m not suggesting that John is in any way elevated above Jesus; even John said emphatically that he is not even worthy to untie Jesus’ sandals. But I do think that all of this reveals something really significant about God’s heart for Christmas.  John’s entire existence was centered on building anticipation for the coming of Jesus—to ‘prepare the way of the Lord, make straight the paths for Him.’  God wanted His people to be prepared and excited for His arrival, so He announced His advent ahead of time through the life of John.

God cares about our anticipation.

One of my favorite Christmas memories growing up was journeying the 16 hours from our home in Florida to our grandparents’ home in Illinois to spend the holidays with family. Our arrival was highly anticipated. Every year, as soon as we pulled into their snowy driveway, through the windows we would see our grandma throw her hands in the air. Overjoyed. Then she would scurry over to the dial-up telephone and call all of our family to tell them we had arrived. We could hear her announcing, ‘They’re here! They’re here!’ And as our road-weary family entered their farmhouse, she and grandpa would rush to greet us with smiles and tears.

Joy to the World, the Lord is come. Let earth receive her King. 

In the same way, God enjoys being received well. He wants me to look for Him with joy and anticipation! He wants me to stay sensitive to the subtle movements of His presence in my life—watching and waiting—so that when He arrives in a fresh way, I am ready to receive and announce His coming. But all of this begins with an initial anticipation of a Holy Spirit advent in my life. I have to look for Him.

John the Baptist modeled this kind of watchful anticipation. But, his parents on the other hand, well…   I think the gospel of Luke includes the story of John’s parents—Zechariah and Elizabeth—before the story of Jesus’ birth for a reason. Zechariah served in the temple as a priest, and according to the scriptures both he and Elizabeth were ‘upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commandments and regulations blamelessly’ (Luke 1:6). They were busy with the work of God and lived above reproach.

One day while serving in the temple, an angel of the Lord appeared to Zechariah and prophesied that, though barren and old in age, his wife Elizabeth would bear a child—and they were to name him John. He would be ‘filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth and go before the Lord to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.’ What a visitation; what a promise! But Zechariah was not anticipating this advent. In fact, the Bible says when he saw the angel, ’He was startled and was gripped with fear’  (Luke 1: 12).  

Unprepared. Inattentive. Zechariah was surrounded by the things of God everyday, and yet he was still caught sleeping when heaven showed up. Taken by surprise. ‘Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it’ (Genesis 28:16)

I don’t know whether God attempted to get Zechariah’s attention in more subtle ways before this angel visitation.  Perhaps Zechariah was so preoccupied with his priestly work, that he was missing God’s everyday advent all around him. Maybe this was God’s grand gesture to finally, unmistakably get his attention. After all, He commanded the angel to appear ‘to the right of the altar of incense’—an advent, smack dab in the middle of Zechariah’s ministry-work. (The mercy in all of this: God meets us where we are and does whatever it takes to capture our attention and affections. What a Grace.) 

I have a Zechariah heart, too. It’s easy to lose my anticipation for God in the midst of my plans and routines, especially in ministry. And especially at Christmas.  I often miss fresh advents in my life because I have neglected looking and listening for Him. I become busier doing the work of God at the ‘altar of incense’ than I am on my knees—listening for His voice, eagerly awaiting Him to reveal more of Himself to me. This advent season, God has been calling me to forsake the things that distract. To slow my pace. To remind my heart to be present where my body is. And to look for His advent all around me.

He is here, but am I?

Everyday Advent

I can hardly believe that another Christmas season has already come. Time seems to move more swiftly the older I get, and each year Christmas seems to get bigger and better—a little more extravagant, a little more stressful. But my heart craves the Simple things. As I have tried to slow my heart in preparation for this year’s Advent season, I have intentionally asked God to help make the age-old story of Christ’s coming fresh for me. To strip away the tinsel and glitter and strip it down to the heart of the matter.  And so He has.

Advent.

I used to throw the word ‘advent’ around like I throw a bow off of a wrapped package. Mindlessly. But I have come to find that its meaning holds more weight than I have credited it. Advent means ‘an arrival; an approach’.

‘Jesus was born into the world, not from it. He did not emerge out of history; He came into history from the outside…Our Lord’s birth was an advent.’  (Oswald Chambers)

Though this simple truth is often concealed under layers of evergreen trimmings and glass ornaments, family gatherings and long-honored traditions (all good things), the Advent season always has been and always will be fundamentally centered on the celebration of our Saviour’s arrival from the outside in—His timely Advent! God, in a humble human frame, split the Bethlehem skies open and entered into our sin mess to save us from ourselves. As only He could. And that truth is our great source of joy; He came for us.

But living in the now chapter of the God story—with the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit—I have found that God didn’t just come for me on that Christmas morning 2000 years ago. But He’s coming for me all the time. The Spirit of God has been pursuing me relentlessly and lovingly since birth, constantly splitting open the hard places of my heart to align me more closely with the Father (and Lord knows that’s a full-time job). So, yes, we celebrate the Christmas Advent, but what does it look like to experience an everyday Advent of the presence of God?  How do I live with a daily anticipation and sensitivity to Him? How do I prepare Him room in my heart?  

In the wake of my Christmas prayer this year, God has peeled back a layer of His heart for Christmas and given me a glimpse into what Advent is truly all about. So consider this your formal invitation to a three-part journey with me over the next few days as I wrestle through some of these questions—and as we anticipate and prepare our hearts for Christmas.

Anna Grace

Song Story: Undone

Song Story: Babel

Song Story: When All is Said and Done

After this, Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), “I thirst.” (John 19:28)

Knowing what was about to take place, Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane saying, ‘Father, if possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will’ (Matthew 26:39). Imagine the heart of the Father in this moment—hearing His only Son crying out to Him in sheer agony. How it must have broken His heart. But still, because of the Father’s great love for humanity, He willingly chose to fill the cup with sins of the world and give it to His Son to drink. Knowing that its weight would surely crush Him.

When the soldiers came to arrest Jesus, Peter tries to defend Him with his sword. But Jesus quickly subdues him saying, ‘Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me? (John 18:11). The transfer of the cup had already been made, and Jesus obediently took it from His Father. With every step He took towards Calvary, He took another drink from the sin-cup, transferring the sins of the world from the heart of man to His own heart. The weight was unbearable.

As He hung on the cross, abandoned by His Father and His friends, imagine the premature celebration that took place in hell. The enemy threw everything he had into that cup, believing it would result in victory over the Almighty. But as Jesus approached His final breath, knowing that all was now finished, said, ‘I thirst’. A simple phrase becomes a victory cry! He declares in the face of an enemy who thought he had won that the cup was not too much for Him; still, He thirsts! And He will rise again in victory, for there is no power of hell and no scheme of man that can defeat our God. He has overcome! May we never forget the strength and power of our God. 

Naming is powerful and prophetic. And though we don’t have to be bound to the labels given to us, I have seen time and time again how a name—a prophetic word—can divinely shape and help set a trajectory for a life.

My niece is named Harper Joy, and since she was a baby she has embodied the essence of her name—full of joy. In the same way, my nephew is named Everett—which means ‘brave as a wild boar’ (a gutsy parent move, no doubt). And this fiery, red-headed 3 year-old has already lived up to his namesake. He has fortitude (some may call it stubbornness) and fearlessness beyond his age and is often found climbing up any and all scalable surfaces in an effort to save the day.

The significance of naming is evident all throughout scripture too. Jacob (meaning ‘grabber’ because he was born clutching the heal of his brother) had his name changed to Israel—which means ‘he who struggles with God, God contends, God rules’—after wrestling with an angel of the Lord. In the New Testament, after hundreds of years of silence from God, we read the story of Zechariah (meaning ‘God remembers’) and Elizabeth (meaning ‘God’s promise’). This couple whose names together mean ‘God remembers God’s promise’ bore a son named John who would prepare the way for Christ’s coming. Even the name given to Satan bears significance—‘an adversary, one who resists, the accuser’.

I have been reflecting on this idea of naming a lot lately, as Ben and I have been actively praying for the perfect name to give our little girl that will be born in May. And as we have searched for her name, I have found myself thinking often about the name given to me and the prophetic significance it has played in my life from its onset.

Anna Grace

It is perhaps a bit redundant...because Anna actually means ‘grace’. When I was young I often joked that my name was Grace Grace. And as much as I would like to say that my life has been marked by my namesake, it instead has served as more of a constant reminder of who I am striving to become. Since I was a little girl, I have always struggled with grace. I set impossible standards for myself that I subtly hold others to as well, and I have struggled to know how to extend grace to myself and those around me when we inevitably fall short. This is why grace has been at the center of almost all spiritual lessons that the Lord has taught me over the years. And though I have so much more to grow in, I’m closer than I was. And for that I am grateful.

Carrying this little baby in my womb has been another lesson in both grace-receiving and grace-extending. I’ve been afforded 9 months to prepare for an arrival that will change nearly all aspects of life as I have known it. And as I anticipate those changes with great joy and a little nervousness, I have already felt the Spirit inviting me to lean into grace in a new way. Even as I watch my body change and react in ways I have no control over, I have had to learn to generously afford myself grace. To yield to this process of creating new life. When my ankles start swelling (what a strange, annoying phenomenon!), I have had to learn to give myself permission to stop and rest. To cancel a meeting if I need to take a nap instead. To skip a workout if I just can’t muster up the energy to do burpees that day. To have an emotional breakdown with my husband and not feel the need to incessantly apologize for falling apart. As I have prepared for our little girl’s arrival, I have already had to lean into my namesake more than ever before. So I can only imagine how it will serve as a guidepost in the months and years to come as Ben and I parent this little one—day by day growing in grace.

Because of all of this and so much more, we have prayerfully considered the name we want to prophetically speak over our little girl's life. We desire her to embody a life of grace as well—coupled with a bravery and strength that we pray she will someday find in Christ. So we have chosen for her a gaelic name meaning ‘warrior’.

Finley Grace Hodge

A warrior—full of grace. May it be so. 

What's Your Word?

It’s one of the highlights of my year.  Every holiday season our family gathering begins with a very special tradition that my parents established years ago.

We go around our family circle one by one and each of us (now 10 or so people) shares what God has done over the past year. Stories of the joy and adventure of the year and also the struggle and heartache are shared, and the time is usually marked by a fountain of tears from all of us. I’ll be honest, as a young girl I wasn’t a huge fan of this tradition.  Anything that required being vulnerable and sharing my feelings was not my idea of fun.  But now, these hours that we spend sharing the highlights of our year are invaluable to me.  

There is power in remembering and declaring the faithfulness of the Lord.  I love the way David says it in Psalm 77:

“Once again I’ll go over what God has done,

lay out on the table the ancient wonders;

I’ll ponder all the things you’ve accomplished,

and give a long, loving look at your acts.” 

Psalm 77:11-12 (The Message)

In recent years we have added to our family tradition and now share a specific word that we believe God has given us for the year ahead.  It’s an opportunity to look back on the previous year and see how God faithfully worked in intentional ways around that year’s word, and it also pushes us to press into what we feel He is drawing us into for the next season. This has been especially meaningful and powerful for our family! 

My personal word for 2017 was ‘growth’.  And it certainly turned out to be the theme that marked the year for me.  This was one of the harder years that I have walked through personally; I have known the pains of growing and being pruned by the Lord.  It was stretching and uncomfortable at times, but as I reflected with my family I could see God’s faithfulness covering all of it as He grew me and drew me closer to Him.  And as I look ahead, my word (or words) that I am declaring over the new year is ‘deeper faith’.  We will see how this theme manifests itself as the days unfold, but I believe that my year will by marked by it.

I wonder what word the Lord is giving you?  I know for me, being a mom and maintaining a busy daily schedule, it is easy to haphazardly stumble into a new year. Days come and go so quickly, and before I know it an entire season passes with little intentionality on my part to press into God’s big-picture vision in the midst of it.  However, I have seen the power in declaring words over my life and have watched how the Lord uses those words to keep us focused and draw us closer to Him.  

As the freshness and the possibilities of a new year still linger, I challenge you, with the guidance of His Spirit, to mark your year with a word—and then keep your heart and eyes open to see how God interweaves that word into your story this season. And maybe just maybe…this time next year you and your family can join us in remembering and bearing witness to what the Lord has done around your chosen theme. 

So will you join me?  Put a word on 2018 and let’s see what God does!

Ally

King of Heaven: the Three Wise Men

Wise men looking for a king

Find instead a mystery

Lying on a manger-throne

The King of Heaven

Oh the wonder of this child

Born that He may reconcile

All creation to Himself

The King of Heaven

Our mom means business when it comes to decorating for Christmas. Every December our home transforms into the liking of the house from Home Alone –everything red and green and adorned with greenery, lights and cotton snow. And I love it! When we were kids, we always fought over who got to set up our nativity scene. It was one of those old, ornate sets with heavy pieces, and I loved inspecting each of the characters: the flock of sheep and the shepherds in their rags, the angels in their simple white robes, Mary and Joseph in their drab road-worn layers, and a naked baby Jesus wrapped in cloth. And then there were the wise men. They never seemed to fit in with the rest of the scene. While all the other characters were humble in nature and dress, the wise men sat royally on camels wearing golden robes embellished with jewels, holding treasure boxes that shone in the night. I never knew where to place them in the nativity, and so they often ended up outside the stable.

As is my nature, each Christmas season I find myself searching for the fresh in the midst of the tradition. One hand on the beloved convention of it all, one hand on how Christmas’ underlying meaning shapes me now. And this year, it is the classic yet mysterious story of the wise men that has offered me a new perspective on the coming of my Jesus.

The wise men (or as later traditions refer to them, The Three Kings) heard tell of the birth of the King of the Jews, and they made their way to Israel in search of Him. ‘Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him” (Matthew 2:1-2). They were expecting a king and all the pomp and circumstance that traditionally came with a royal birth. But we know that Jesus did not arrive this way. Instead, on a chilly Bethlehem night in the muck of the outdoor animals, baby Jesus entered our world and was laid in a feeding trough. His birth—this King’s birth—was not met with a grand announcement; in fact, it was announced only to the outlying-outcast shepherds.

When news slowly spread of the Messiah’s birth in Bethlehem, the wise men made their way from Jerusalem to the city in Judea. They came bearing gifts fit for a king—gold, frankincense, myrrh. ‘On coming to the house, they saw a child with his mother Mary” (Matthew 2:11). A humble home and a simple greeting. Nothing flashy, nothing showy. And I have to wonder… were they surprised? Did they pause to scratch their heads? Could this really be the Messiah-king whose coming had been foretold for hundreds of years?

When the wise men left Bethlehem, they were ordered to report to King Herod where Jesus could be found…presumably so Herod could kill the Messiah and protect his own throne. But having been warned in a dream not to reply to Herod, the wise men returned to the east. But the threat of a new king threw Herod into a rage and prompted him to slaughter all of the baby boys in Judea, sending Mary and Joseph fleeing to Egypt to hide from the raging king. Baby Jesus—heaven’s King—was now a fugitive.

This side-story of the wise men shines a bright light on the paradox that would mark Jesus’ life and ministry over the 33 years He walked this earth. Jesus—Immanuel God with us. This God is the same God who for centuries prior to Jesus’ birth revealed Himself to the people of Israel in a pillar of fire, in the miraculous parting of seas and in burning bushes. But on Christmas night when our Creator ripped through the Bethlehem skies to save the world He loves, He chose to come not as a King riding in with a great flash of extravagance and pretention. Instead, He came in the most vulnerable and helpless form—a baby—and he began His life as a fugitive in a foreign land. A paradox.

Why? Why this way? Why not come as the wise men (and most of the Israelite people) expected? …as a conquering King, robed in majesty and glory. Perhaps it’s because He knows we need a Saviour who is like us—who we can identify with. Who chose vulnerability as an infant and so births a safe space for our own vulnerabilities to break the surface of our hardened hearts and forge a path to freedom. The way of Jesus’ coming disarms us of our own pretentions and efforts to have it all together. And this kind of vulnerability is what births intimacy with Him. When I feel low and unseen, I remember that my Jesus chose to spend the first hours of His life in a feeding trough. When I feel lost and out of place, I remember that my Jesus spent the first months of His life as a fugitive in a foreign land. And when I feel like life is unbearable and its weight is crushing, I remember that my Jesus willingly walked the road to Calvary where He gave His life so that I could know full intimacy with Him. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses” (Hebrews 4:15). He gets me. Every time.

Though this message is easily lost in a season that has become so highly decorated and adorned with all the gold tinsel and red ribbon, this is what we celebrate this Christmas. And as I now look upon that nativity scene, I no longer see the wise men as misfit royalty in the midst of the most humble of characters, but rather I think they fit perfectly in place. Their extravagance serves as a perfect contrast to the accessibility and simplicity of the Saviour that stooped low to save me. A King who chose not to come in the expected form of royalty but instead took on the surprising form of the most lowly and vulnerable. So perhaps those ornate wise men figurines don’t belong outside of the stable after all; maybe they belong right by that manger-throne, worshipping the King—shoulder to shoulder with the shepherds and the outcasts and the humble…and me.

Anna Grace

King of Heaven: the Shepherds & Angels

Angels lighting northern stars

Guiding shepherds from afar

Unto Bethlehem to see

The King of Heaven

Wrapped in light and lying low

God incarnate has come close

Born a humble child and yet

The King of Heaven

Ivey and I were on our way home, singing along to the Christmas music playing on the radio—as I love to do this time of year—when suddenly the playlist stopped and the clip from A Charlie Brown Christmas began to play. It was the scene where Linus gives his speech about the true meaning of Christmas...

And there were in the same country, shepherds abiding in the field keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone ‘round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, ‘Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.’

This picture painted from Luke’s gospel is one I’ve seen and heard a thousand times. But as I’ve dug a little deeper into this familiar nativity story this Christmas, I don’t think it will ever be quite the same for me. Though I tend to focus more on the earthly side of things, this year I have found myself imagining what the perspective of the angels was that night. All of heaven surely knew that this moment was coming, and the angels understood the full weight of what Jesus’ birth meant for all of humanity. His coming would change the world forever, making right what sin had stolen and offering every single person the opportunity to be reconciled to God once again.

I don’t know of more exciting news than the news of a new birth. When I was pregnant with Ivey, I wanted to tell everyone she was coming. And when she finally arrived, I could barely contain my excitement! Can you imagine how the angels felt about Jesus’ birth? My anticipation times a billion! I’ve tried to picture the celebration of that night when Jesus arrived, wrapped in flesh for the first time. A baby so small and fragile and yet the King of Heaven! No earthly delivery room party could come close to the praise and pure elation of Heaven on that Christmas night. The angels must have been bursting at the seams as they readied themselves to be summoned by the Father to declare this glorious news to the earth!

And so God gathered His angel armies and sent them to tell the news. But to whom did He send them first?... To the shepherds. I’ve often wondered why God chose to send this earth-shattering announcement—this Gospel—to the lowly and outlying shepherds. But I know that God has purposed every detail of His story, and the angels coming to the shepherds gives us a glimpse of the Father’s heart for ALL people. No matter how unseen, unwanted or simple you and I may feel at times, our loving Father comes for us. And that is good news. But still, He could have chosen so many others who felt like outcasts. So why these shepherds?  Well…God is in the details, and He has purposed everything according to His plan.

Scholars believe that these shepherds were the same shepherds that cared for the sacrificial flock that was used for the daily sacrifices in the Temple. These shepherd boys, whose entire lives had been spent looking after the lambs that Jesus—the Lamb of God—was coming to replace once and for all with His Calvary sacrifice… these were the ones God chose to announce His coming to first. I can just feel the Father’s heart in all of this. It’s as if He was saying to them, ‘This is the end of an era. The days of sacrifice and the slaughtering of precious, innocent animals over and over again to atone for the sins of man has come to an end. All the brokenness and bloodshed and hopelessness is over. I have sent my Son—the King of Heaven—to BE the sacrifice and make all things right once and for all.’

Now when I sing about the angels and I read about the shepherds, I see it all lit up in new light. And I hope these few revelations can help breathe some fresh life into this Good News again this Christmas for you. I have SO loved reading the Advent story from the Passion Translation in this season, and so I pass it on to you. Take a few minutes to read it and breathe in the mystery and wonder of the infant King who came for us.

May His fresh light come to you this Christmas,

Ally

An Angelic Encounter

That night, in a field near Bethlehem, there were shepherds watching over their flocks. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared in radiant splendor before them, lighting up the field with the blazing glory of God, and the shepherds were terrified! But the angel reassured them, saying,“Don’t be afraid. For I have come to bring you good news, the most joyous news the world has ever heard! And it is for everyone everywhere! For today in Bethlehem a rescuer was born for you. He is the Lord Yahweh, the Messiah. You will recognize him by this miracle sign: you will find a baby wrapped in strips of cloth and lying in a feeding trough! Then all at once, a vast number of glorious angels appeared, the very armies of heaven! And they all praised God, singing:

Glory to God in the highest realms of heaven! For there is peace and a good hope given

to the sons of men. 

When the choir of angels disappeared back to heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go! Let’s hurry and find this Manifestation that is born in Bethlehem and see for ourselves what the Lord has revealed to us.” So they ran into the village and found their way to Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in a feeding trough. Upon seeing this miraculous sign, the shepherds recounted what had just happened. Everyone who heard the shepherds’ story was astonished by what they were told. The shepherds returned to their flock, ecstatic over what had happened. They praised God and glorified him for all they had heard and seen for themselves, just like the angel had said.”

 (Luke 2:8-20 The Passion Translation)

Story behind 'When All Is Said and Done'

After this, Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), “I thirst.”  (John 19:28)

Knowing what was about to take place, Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane saying, ‘Father, if possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will’ (Matthew 26:39).  Imagine the heart of the Father in this moment—hearing His only Son crying out to Him in sheer agony.  How it must have broken His heart.  But still, because of the Father’s great love for humanity, He willingly chose to fill the cup with the sins of the world and give it to His Son to drink. Knowing that its weight would surely crush Him.

When the soldiers came to arrest Jesus, Peter tried to defend Him with his sword.  But Jesus quickly subdued him saying, ‘Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me? (John 18:11).  The transfer of the cup had already been made, and Jesus obediently took it from His Father.  With every step He took towards Calvary, He took another drink from the sin-cup, transferring the sins of the world from the heart of man to His own heart.  The weight was unbearable.  

As He hung on the cross, abandoned by His Father and His friends, imagine the premature celebration that took place in hell.  The enemy threw everything he had into that cup, believing it would result in victory over the Almighty.  But as Jesus approached His final breath, knowing that all was now finished, said, ‘I thirst’.   A simple phrase becomes a victory cry!  He declares in the face of an enemy who thought he had won that the cup was not too much for Him; still, He thirsts!  And He will rise again in victory, for there is no power of hell and no scheme of man that can defeat our God.  He has overcome!  May we never forget the strength and power of our God.

A Hard Week...

This has been a hard week and tonight I find myself processing a lot and wondering at life and death and all that it means and holds.  How brief is this life?  How grand is eternity?  How consumed have I become with temporal things and fixated on things that just don’t really matter?  All questions tossing around in my head.  

I know, this is not the typical Christmasy, holly jolly post you would be expecting this season, but sometimes life happens —and so it has for us this week.  Sometimes we feel the weight of this cursed world more than other times and are reminded of the brevity of our lives here. These past few days with sudden and tragic loss of several friends and being faced with hard life decisions, I am so grateful that He is Savior and that He came for us.  Jesus, our rescuer, our victor came for us and He is coming for us.  The Spirit brought to my attention this scripture and I find great comfort here tonight…

“Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.

As I sit staring at the lights on my Christmas tree, taking in the wonder of this season… it’s meaning and beauty runs deeper in my veins.  He came for us so that the sting of death could be swallowed up for good, forever.  Our victory is so magnificent that even death doesn’t win.  With so much pain circling around in my own tiny world, I know, more than ever, that this is a hard season for SO many who are grieving, who are alone, longing, hoping, missing, waiting…so much hard…and yet at the same time what a greater joy is this season to those who are waiting, missing, hoping, weeping to receive this gift of our greatest hope and eternal victory. The One who swallowed up death in Victory for us. Jesus, this Christmas story is so much more than a story or a season — this is everything.  All encompassing, all surpassing, all we need — this is it and what it means for us is beyond good news! Death did not win.  Sin has been defeated.  Jesus won!

As my heart aches tonight for those known and unknown who are weeping, missing, longing even more my heart is rejoicing in Jesus and what that baby that came for us on Christmas means. 

Rest

Since I was a little girl, I have always had an active mind and active hands. Days when my pastor- parents turned our home into a retreat from the busyness of the week—with resting hearts and unhurried hands—were nearly unbearable for me; I needed something to do. One of the questions I asked my parents the most was, ‘What do you want me to make?’ I always had a bent towards creating things; I love the process of putting material around a vision in my head and seeing it through the creation process to the end. Over the years, my parents’ answers to that question led me to create things like 3D colonial villages made from cardboard, cardhouses the size of the living room, amateur movies about saving the neighborhood from disease, and scripts to plays that we performed at the entryway of our house (yes, I cast Ally in those plays...and yes, I always made her play the male roles). When I finished one project, I was immediately onto the next one.  Idle hands are the devils workshop (Proverbs 16:27), right?

When I was young, I had a surplus of energy to keep up with this creative cycle. And though my love for creativity has not changed, as I have gotten older my energy and ability to sustain that creative pace has slowed. And at times, it has left me on the brink of burn out. That’s where I found myself in recent months. The past year was full. Ben and I bought and renovated our first home, dove into full- time ministry at Madison Park Church, welcomed our beautiful niece into the world (Ivey Ray), and we released our newest album We Hymn with Alanna Story. So many projects—so much energy expended—and my heart was swept up in it all. Tunnel vision is a beast; and burn out is its best friend.

We released We Hymn in April, and what a joy it has been to see how God is using it in His Church. I loved getting to create it, and I am honored to steward those songs in the years to come. It’s always a demanding journey to produce a new album, and I have found the hardest part of the creative process is the end. After expending so much time and energy on creating this work—energy that few people see—we inevitably arrive at the point where we determine that yes, now it is ‘finished’. And we let it go. To everyone around us, it is just the beginning of their encounter with it. But to me, it is the end of an exhausting affair. The sudden calm after a long whirlwind.

Typically after we have released an album, we jump right into a busy travel season. But this time was different. Because of having a new baby in the band, we left a lot of margin in our schedule. So literally overnight, I went from waking up every morning (for a year and a half straight) on mission with a to-do list that wouldn’t quit to waking up most mornings with very little on my schedule. In the days and weeks that followed the We Hymn release, I found myself wrestling with God. Actually it was more like an all-out brawl with His heart and mine. I was exhausted. But the child in me that is wired to stay active and bent towards producing naturally jumped right into nagging Him, ‘Ok Lord, what’s next?’—‘What do you want me to make now?’ But God was silent.

The silence paralyzed me. I didn’t know what to do with myself, with my time, with the sudden space to rest. Like Elijah in the desert after he defeated the prophets of Baal, I have never wanted to quit more than I did in that season. ‘I have had enough Lord’ (1 Kings 19:4.) I felt all washed up. Spent. Discouraged. Defeated. I had more margin in my life to rest than I knew what to do with, but I couldn’t slow my heart down enough to embrace it. And all the while my knee-jerk reaction was to try and jump into the next project. But God wouldn’t allow it.

One morning in May, I woke up and again begged God to assign me my next task—even though I knew I had little energy to see it through. And this time instead of silence He answered me plainly: ‘Anna, I have provided you the space to rest. It is a gift. Do not squander it.’

It felt like a loving yet serious slap across the face. It shook me up and woke me up. In that moment the scales lifted from my eyes, and I saw clearly just how intertwined my soul had become with my performance. Not performance in terms of what happens on a stage, but performance in terms of what I do. And when the doing was removed from my heart equation, I felt a little lost.

Performance says I am what I do. Rest says I am what He did.

My need for doing and my inability to rest revealed just how Old Testament I was. The law says that my standing with God is based entirely on my ability to perform and produce—and I can never do enough or be enough to meet that impossible standard. But the Cross is a beautiful permission slip to rest because there is nothing I can do to allure or repel God’s love; I get to just rest in knowing I don’t have to try so hard. Rest is God’s provision for my Old Testament soul.

I have always known that God has given me permission to rest in Him, but I had yet to fully give myself that permission. When I came to this realization in May, rather than getting overwhelmed with how far I had drifted and making a list of all the things I needed to do to return to fullness, I let the Spirit guide me in my recovery process. I love that Jesus calls the Holy Spirit our ‘Counselor’—oh, how much (free!) therapy He has given me over the years. And in this past season, the Spirit has helped unravel the tangled web of my heart and my production and create margin to relearn how to rest in Him. Like the angel spoke to Elijah in the desert, the Spirit whispered to my heart: ‘Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you’ (1 Kings 19:7). He gave me permission to take my eyes off the journey for a while and focus on replenishment instead.

I’ve been taking small, manageable steps; doing only the things I must do each day and filling the rest of my time with the things I want to do. I’ve spent time cooking, gardening, decorating, golfing. I’ve spent time around the table with people who inspire me. I started a new journal and bought a stack of new books to tackle this summer. Some days I crawl into bed having not produced anything tangible that day...and I’m learning to be okay with that! Slow and steady, my heart is returning to wholeness. I’m learning to lead authentically and to worship from a place of reality. To live and lead while being ‘in process’.

The Cross means something different to me now. Yes, it is the image of love and grace and mercy. But when I approach the Cross right now, I find rest. I find my permission to let go and just be. I am a mess that is being untangled one heartstring at a time. I am coming alive again, and the Cross is my inhale and my exhale—my permission to breathe and rest. 

Q&A | "We Hymn"

What special stylings, if any, have been infused into the music to make it fresh for today’s worshiper?

The challenge with the styling of this project was to bring fresh sounds to these songs while also keeping them accessible enough so that local churches can use the arrangements and recreate the sounds in their services. So while we definitely experimented with a lot of programmed sounds on this project (i.e. synths, electric drums sounds, etc.) as well as some of the folk instruments you would expect to hear from Alanna Story (accordion, mandolin, strings etc.), we also used a choir and a full band so that it reflects the kind of corporate sound that many churches use in their local context. 

Q&A | "We Hymn"

What about the words of the hymns make them timeless and influential in our walk with God?

I grew up thinking that the word ‘hymn’ was strictly a noun and included only the songs found in a hymnal. But as we dove into this hymn project, I looked up what the word ‘hymn’ actually means, and it isn’t just a noun; it is also a verb that simply means to praise. This struck me so deeply because I think as a Church, at some point, we conditioned ourselves to think only ‘these specific songs written before this date’ can constitute as a hymn—or a praise song. But our God is always moving and doing new things in each generation; and as we experience His goodness and faithfulness, just like the hymn writers of old experienced in their time, we too are compelled to respond with praise songs that declare our love and affection for God. Though the songs of old are lyrically beautiful and have stood the test of time, hymns aren’t just songs that can be found in a hymnal; hymns are being written and sung all the time by this generation and will continue for generations to come...because it’s all praise! I think this is why God asks us multiple times in His Word to ‘sing a new song’...to hymn Him; to praise Him! 

Q&A | "We Hymn"

Why did Alanna Story decide to record a hymns project?

We grew up singing hymns in church and with our family, and we have always loved the depth of the lyrics and the way the melodies get into your head and heart. But we have also seen how the heritage of our ‘hymns’ has often divided the Church’s worship culture in some ways. We have seen the young generation grab ahold of new choruses and melodies (which are so great and help many connect to the heart of God), but many times this is at the expense of losing touch with the songs of old.

We have also seen a generation who grew up singing hymns cling to those songs and the way they have always been done at the expense of embracing some of the new and powerful ways worship has grown and allowed the Church to engage with the presence of God in an authentic way. We need both in our worship! As a ministry, Alanna Story has often been called to lead both sides of this polarity, and we have struggled to discern how to help unify the Church’s expression of worship so it doesn’t become a generational ‘us and them’ mentality.

So over the past few years, we tried to get creative with how to approach this ever-growing gap. We started experimenting with taking the hymns that the generation before us loves (and we do too!) and put them in a modern context with fresh sounds and new, sing-able choruses in an attempt to connect both generations to the heart of God. As we did this, we found that whether we were leading at a youth convention or a pastor’s conference, these songs bridged the generational gap and helped usher the Church into engaging worship. And because we know that many churches and leaders are struggling to find the same balance in their worship culture, we are making available all of the tools needed to lead these songs in the local church context in hopes of helping to unifying the generational worship gap. The worship leader’s tool package will include all of the charts and scores (band, choir, strings) and live tracks (stems and accompaniment). 

To See His Face

This holiday season has felt so different for me.  Not only is it flying by, but I find my heart, being completely honest, a little distracted and more focused on the arrival of my little girl than the birth of Christ this year.  I suppose that’s to be understood, right?  

I have been nesting like crazy these past few weeks that we’ve been nestling back into home life and off the road for a season.  It has been so much fun putting the finishing touches on her nursery, pulling tags off of her tiny new clothes and washing and putting them neatly in her drawers.  I go into her room often and just stare, imagining what it will be like in a few weeks when she’s with us!  Hard to wrap my mind around.

A few nights ago I was in my bedroom putting some laundry away and I found myself looking, again, at her 18 week ultrasound photo (the one where we found out we were having a GIRL) which sits framed next to my bed.  It hit me not only how tiny she was then but even more how much she has grown and developed in the past several months.  The last time we got a peak at her she was roughly the size of bell pepper (strange that babies get compared to random fruit and vegetables but oh well) — only 5 and half inches long and few ounces.  And since then how she has changed and developed so much but I can only feel it.  I am aching to see her face! To see whose features she has, which I’m praying she has Stephens blue eyes.  I can’t wait to hold her and smell her smell and watch her be her.  I can’t wait to lay eyes on our little girl!  

Then it dawned on me… all this anticipation that I feel for her is only a glimpse of what it will be to lock eyes with Jesus face some day.  The anticipation that all of heaven must have felt when Christ came to earth at Christmas and now how heaven and His bride ache for the day He will come again for us, once and for all, to redeem and set us free!  It was a revelation moment for me as I stared at that picture.  My anticipation and story is only a shadow of the grandest story of all.  Still I say, Thank you Jesus that you give us glimpses into what you are doing on much grander scale.  A peek into His heart and how He loves and longs for us.

I anticipate the moment I lock eyes with our daughter.  It will be one of the grandest moments of my earthly life AND a taste of what’s to come.  Praying this Christmas season for a fresh longing to see my Saviors face and that the anticipation for His return would burn more and more in my heart!  

"Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall SEE him as he is."     

1 John 3:2

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year,

Ally